100 paper cranes

I just watched Ah Di (Devotion).
She was coma in hospital. And her children fold 100 paper cranes for her, wishing she will wake up..
And she really wake up..

I'm thinking how wish I knew this early. I will fold 100 paper cranes for my dad.
He would wake up..I wish I can time travel..

Dad, I still miss u..
My love to u and Mom still the same.it will never change, next life I wish I will be ur daughter again..

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I am so scare

Tonite I really can't sleep.
Everytime I close my eyes, I see the whole thing happened on that 'day'.
I am so scare. I just scare. It's freaking me out.

I hv to overcome this. I know..but I can't stop this dropped tears..

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Trauma Moment

I can't sleep..
Tomorrow..
It's time..
Acin, everything will be just fine..
Just believe it..

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Happy Father's Day

Dear my beloved Dad,
Happy Father's Day..
I wish u would be here with us, celebrate as usual.
We will bring u to restaurant to have dinner, cut the cake that we bought for u, and give u the gift that we bought..
I miz u..
This is the day when everyone's celebrating with their Dad. But we can't.
Daddy, luv u..
Miss u..

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Suicide

I dreamed a very weird dream lastnite.
I suicide myself by taken a lot of sleeping pills. Then I am coma in hospital. I saw a lot of people come to hospital n crying, especially when I saw my Mom, koko, sis, him, dwarfs, n touchwood. I asked them dun cry, but nobody's hearing me.

Myb in future, when I read this again I will laugh. Or myb I think I am a moron. But rite now, I really want to do it. But if I will end up to coma, I dun think I would do it. It makes a lot of people upset.

I'm jobless now, but I feel so stressful..this kind of stress level is more than when I was working.

In real world, I won't suicide of course, that is a very stupid thing. Most of time, we will see other people stupid if they suicide.
But I can tell that I understand the way they are thinking, why they force to end up they life. I will not support, but myb I can tell them 'let's find a specialist, they might help us'

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