Miz U Miz U

Papa,
Miz U Miz U..
This is uncounted night I couldn't sleep and get insomnia.
Pa, I hv a lot of things want to talk to u. I need a listener, a good one.

People say:
Some things r easier said than done

I fully agree with this words.
Miz U pa..
I love U..


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6th 7 of My Dad

Pa,
just prayed for 6th 7..
I know u back..u was here just now..
I can feel u..
Miz u..

Sometimes when people said they can see their kin who already dead. I hope I also have such ability.
Sounds scary, but I hope I can, but only see Dad for sure.
I wanna see u Dad.
Miz u so much..I hope I could hug u, hold ur hand again.

It's painful when everynite I close my eyes. And realize u really gone.

I luv u Dad. U will be always be my Superhero, SuperDad, Super-Duper Dad..u r the only one..
I love U..


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Cloudy

我的天空今天有點灰..
I thought u would be a gud listener to me..
Although u are keeping console me..but what u talked was totally different with mine..The stories are different..do not combine it..and nvr ever..

I know u just wants to make me feel better. U just wants to elaborate everything to me in other side..I know..
But u are not me, u might not understand my position and difficulties. I dun expect u would put urself on my shoes. But I really just need a 'listener' without any opinion. I need specialist actuallyM

But I really thankful for ur companion. I must admit, it a lil bit relieve. As I cry out loud today..I feel better..I really do..

我只能说殘忍的時間, 你让我很心碎..

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Kungfu Panda 2

I am so exciting to wait Kungfu Panda 2 to be released.
But unfortunately, there will be NO Kungfu Panda 2 on cinema here.

Sometimes we need some new blood. Pls dun let those 'pocong2 or ngesot' movies in cinema. It is so irritating.

I want Kungfu Panda 2.pls bring back d blockbuster movies lahhh..u r so idiot..

But there is sumting make me so happy today.
I was watching Kungfu Panda 1 on TransTv just now.
I like..
Then my Dear buy Kungfu Panda's characters from McD.
They r Po, Master Shifu, Master Crane..some other character will be bought tmrw.

Dear °·♡·♥ Xîë xîë nî ♥·♡·°
°·♡·♥ Kåmsîã ♥·♡·°
°·♡·♥ Arîgåtøü ♥·♡·°
°·♡·♥ Kåmsãhåmîdã ♥·♡·° °
°·♡·♥ T̶̲̥̅̊н̣̣̣̝̇̇̇☆┏̲n̶̲̥̅̊┓̲k γ☺μ̥ ♥·♡·°

:)

I wanna let my father to watch also as he watched the 1st one before..will find the DVD den..

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Should I check?

I dunno what happen to me..
Recently, I like to ask 'why'..no matter what things or any conversation.
I find I'm being lazy to use my brain.
It makes me become stupid.
Even for a simple calculation 100-26 =?? I still need think for a while.

I also feel when I'm watching a show/tv programme, if the dialog is about die, sick, coma, die in a hospital, or the venue is at hospital..
I will feel very sensitively on it.

I think I a lil bit unstable right now.
Can not consentrate on what I'm doing.
Should I check to doctor?

See first lah..
Myb not enought sleep ba..


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Fainted

This morning, I fainted in bathroom.
It might becoz my stomach was fighting.
It was very painful..I can't stand anymore. I fainted.
But after a while, I woke up.

I still remember what happened, after that I went back to my room.
I dunno what medicine should be taken. So I just leave it.
I applied some ointment, and took a rest.

Ssssttttt..only my mom and sis knew this. I dun want to bring big this things.
I think I just too tired lately.

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Trauma with HOSPITAL

Actually I'm lil bit trauma with HOSPITAL..

I just back from RS Awal Bros..I was going there with my Mom to company my Sis to check her eyes..
She use to having problem with her eyes..

But I was really uncomfortable with that place..it reminds me on the condition when my Dad checked up, coma and dead..
It appeared very clearly when I walked into HOSPITAL..

I dunno..
Haizzzz..


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4th 7 of My Dad

Papa,
Today is 4th 7 liao..
Still missing U.. It's been 28 days u left..

I dunno how to not think bout u before sleep..
I feel like a part of me is dying..
Papa, acin kangen..
Hen xiang ni..
I still wish that God could send you back..or time travel really exist..

Papa, love u..

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Process Documents

We r processing some documents that require to transfer papa's bank account fund to mom..
Bank is asking for some docs..so we need to go to Notary and legal gov to process the docs..

Although the fund not much left, but we want mom to keep.

Today I went to notary with 6 uncle. We pick the notary that my bestfriend worked before. Notaris Carolina, Jodoh

We met Ms.endang. She looks nice.

I feel so bad when we hv to process those docs. It makes me face the fact that my Dad passed away.
The fact that I hate to believe.​
(-̩̩̩-̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩___-̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩-̩̩̩)

When I talk bout my Dad, I felt my tears was going out, but I shed my tears.
This nyte I still missing him as usual.
Papa, miss u so much..
Love u..


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1st Mom's Day without Dad

08 May 2011
This year, This day is different from others..
We did not celebrate Mother's Day. And we can't celebrate as well.

Even greeting also can't not (bcoz Mom dun want we greet her)
So, I saw my koko's bbm status post bout our Mom. I also post in my twitter. I think my sis also boi..
We can only greet her like this..

Today is special day..Papa, I know u dun want Mama just spent today like this. That's why I think 'it's' a gift for her..heheee..

Papa, we companied her whole day today..dun worry..
I bought some food and we dinner at home together..Koko's gf also came..
I dunno she dunno or koko did not tell her, she bought a gift for Mom leh..
'Future daug-in-law' gave one leh..hohooo..

Papa, I was watering ur plants today..
I promise will take care of ur plants..
Papa, we miss u..
Love u, Pa..
Wan an..

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Dreamed U, Papa

Papa,
I dreamed bout u again..
U was in the garden with ur plants..
U was proudly talk to me bout sunflowers r blooming, den u introduced to me ur new eggplant..

I was so impressed with ur garden..∩_∩

But when I woke up, I realized that all that were dream..
And everything back to reality..

I think I'm too miss u, Pa..
Hope u r doing well 'there' Pa..
No matter wat, u'll be always be my SuperDad..
Love U ♥
Mmmuuaaacchhhh..

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I wanna Shout Out Loud

PAPA, 好想你
很想。。
你回来好吗？

天啊，讓他回来吧。。
I am begging U..
RETURN MY PAPA TO US..
Why U took him like that?
He just went for regular medical check up leh..
He didn't do anything wrong..
Or it was me that did wrong??
Pls PUNISH ME..dun take him..
PLS RETURN HIM TO ME..
I AM BEGGING U, GOD..
I AM BEGGING U..
I AM BEGGING U..
I AM BEGGING U..
I AM BEGGING U..
PLS RETURN HIM TO ME..


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3rd 7 of My Dad

My Beloved Papa,
How are u lately?
过得好吗？

Today is 3rd 7 了..
Just prayed..
5 De, 5 Nin, 4 De and Medy also came..even we start at 2am..they still came..

Papa, u might be happy rite?

3rd 7 means it's 21days u leave us..
Still miz u..
Sometimes, I can not stop thinking of u..I want u back..this fact makes me feel so sorry, so regret, so painful, so terrible..
Sometimes, I can not stop crying when think of u..it's hard to believe, Dad..
If I knew it would be the last time, I'd video ur every action n words..so I could play back day after day..
If I knew it would be the last time, I'd hug u tight, won't let u go..

Papa, 我很想你 你知道嗎 如果可以 就讓我再見你
永远爱你的nu儿
MmmuuuaaacCchhhh..

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I hate Nite day

Nite is the best time for some people..
As people can sleep, can take a rest, can concentrate to compose music or writing, can rest after a whole busy day..

But for me, it is the most miserable time..
When all people are sleeping thus I hv a quiet time for myself.. I am missing him..

Sometimes, I want my Dad come back as what happened in my dream.
Sometimes, I want miracle in a miracle.
Honestly, I still can't accept this fact.. I want he's back..
GOD..PLS RETURN MY PAPAAAAA..
U can exchange with me..

Pleasssseeeeeeeeee..


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I Understand now, Mom

So, it's the feeling when the people dunno and asking where my papa is.

There was an old customer that from Spore just now.. He asked 'where is the man boss? At home?'
I was speechless..this is the first time being asked by person dunno wat happ to my papa.
He was asking so many times, I pretended that I busy to packing his order. But in the end, I answered him..
I said 'My papa has passed away'
Customer: 'ohh..I am sorry..I dunno, it's long time I didn't come to Batam. When?'
Me: 'not long ago'
Customer: 'sorry..sorry..I used to buy the chicken rice with ur papa, he is a kind person..but I am sorry to hear that'
Me: 'it's ok uncle..thx anw'
(With expression that might tell him 'plz stop talking, I can't stand it anymore' and my mom was there too )

So now, I can understand how hurt it is when my mom being asked..as this week a lot of pple asked her already..

Mom, we jiayou together hor..

Papa, I miss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..
Miss u so muchhhhhhhhhhh..


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Nicholas Tse's speech on HK Horse Award

I watched HK Horse Award last nite on Chan U..

Nicholas Tse won the Best Actor.
His speech still running on my head..

He said sorry to his Dad coz his words that might hurt his Dad when he won the Best New Comer on his 18 yrs old.

He still the lucky one.. As his Dad can heard what he said. He still got chance to show his Dad how regret he is..
But I am not..

Wish U would be here, Papa..
I will tell u how regret I did not take gud care of u that day.. How regret I haven't bring u travel to Sichuan and Guilin leh..

But Papa, I promise to u, when everything is going smooth, and Mom hv mood to travel..I will bring her there..
Will bring ur passport go there as well..
I am sorry Pa..
Love u with my whole life..
Muacchhh..

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