I am so scare

Tonite I really can't sleep.
Everytime I close my eyes, I see the whole thing happened on that 'day'.
I am so scare. I just scare. It's freaking me out.

I hv to overcome this. I know..but I can't stop this dropped tears..

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Trauma Moment

I can't sleep..
Tomorrow..
It's time..
Acin, everything will be just fine..
Just believe it..

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Happy Father's Day

Dear my beloved Dad,
Happy Father's Day..
I wish u would be here with us, celebrate as usual.
We will bring u to restaurant to have dinner, cut the cake that we bought for u, and give u the gift that we bought..
I miz u..
This is the day when everyone's celebrating with their Dad. But we can't.
Daddy, luv u..
Miss u..

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Suicide

I dreamed a very weird dream lastnite.
I suicide myself by taken a lot of sleeping pills. Then I am coma in hospital. I saw a lot of people come to hospital n crying, especially when I saw my Mom, koko, sis, him, dwarfs, n touchwood. I asked them dun cry, but nobody's hearing me.

Myb in future, when I read this again I will laugh. Or myb I think I am a moron. But rite now, I really want to do it. But if I will end up to coma, I dun think I would do it. It makes a lot of people upset.

I'm jobless now, but I feel so stressful..this kind of stress level is more than when I was working.

In real world, I won't suicide of course, that is a very stupid thing. Most of time, we will see other people stupid if they suicide.
But I can tell that I understand the way they are thinking, why they force to end up they life. I will not support, but myb I can tell them 'let's find a specialist, they might help us'

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My Koko quite Blur

I dunno what are the things on my Koko's brain. Hahaa
Yesterday morning, he found a bag of things was putting at chair. He thought it was a trash. he even throw to trash bin.

My Sis was looking for it whole day. Until my Bro back home from work.
There was 3rd world war in my home lastnite.
The things are my Sis's client ordered. My koko also blur2 lahh..he has a lot of proud of himself. He dun say sorry. He even think he was not wrong. He said he admit he wrong, but his attitude dun show it. He said 好心没好报. Haizzzzzz..

Koko, try to understand the whole thing lor..dun make throw things as habit.

Now, my sis hv to re-order liao lor..

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I know He was a Good Man

I just lend our car battery charger to parking man. There is a man can't start his car's engine.

Mom told me, battery charger was being bought by Dad.
One day my Dad going to a funeral of his friend. My Dad forgot to turn off car light. So can't start the engine. There was a man helped my Dad to start his car. Mom said Dad doesn't know the man. He was really thankful to this man.
From that day, Dad bought the battery charger, which his intention is to help other people who can't start their car because battery run out.

He willing to help people even stranger.

I am being touched by this story.
I know He is a good man, and always be a good man.

People have to help each other. That's what my Dad teaches me.


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Iphone & Keyboard

I think I dreamed of u lastnite, Dad. But when I woke up, I forgot everything.

But Mom said she dreamed bout Dad lastnite.
Daddy was coming to Indorasa and talked to Mom. He asked Mom to sell his Iphone and Keyboard. He said as nobody is using it. So just sell it.

Daddy, frankly speaking I dun want to sell it. All your belonging I wanna keep. Even ur medical X-ray, Medical Cards, reports, notes, all I still keep it.

Maybe Daddy wants us to let everything go. I dunno.
But ur Keyboard we might sell it. For others, sorry Dad.
We will let u go, to better place, to where u belong to. But we will keep some things for memory.

Love u Daddy. Always..


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Aku Tak Biasa

Officially can eat meat already.
But I still eat vegetarian food. Maybe eat vegetarian for a long time, so I feel a bit odd to eat meat. I can't. I just can't.

The meat's smell is different now.
Hahaaa..


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7th x 7 = 49 Days

It's 49 days, pa..
Just prayed..
Well, we started at 2 am.
I noe u came back..uncles, aunt, nieces, and god-son came. Even Mom's Sister Abo also.
Papa, u r a good Brother, good Uncle, good Husband and good Father to Us.
So, we love u as well.

I surely feel u will find a good 'place' there, as God prepare for u.

Papa, we will be good when u good.
Love u Pa..
Love u forever in my life.
​•:*°<3<3° ...мüuaɑccннн... °<3<3°:*°•


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